Notes on the Australian Open of 2009

The biggest dickhead award: tie between Andy Roddick (what have you got against umpires?) and Arnaud Clement (towel snatching asshole)
'Oh well..it's okay honey, you tried': Dinara Safina, defeated by Serena Williams in less than an hour
'Hey, nice comeback': Jelena Dokic
'Could you stop victoriously falling to the ground like that? You're gonna crack your skull.': Rafael Nadal
'OWWWW': Ballguy who got hit in the 'crotchal region'
Most distracting pants: Nadal's spotted shorts
'Well, thank GOD I don't have work at 9am': Nadal/Verdasco match- began on Friday night, 7:30pm and ended Saturday, 1:30am
'Shit, dude, if I hear that song one more time...': Gabriella Cilmi performed Sweet About Me before the men's final
'Uh.. sorry, man.. so close': Roger Federer
'Aw, stop it, now you're making ME cry': Roger Federer
'Had some work done?': Sandy Roberts
'With that accent, I could listen to you speak allllll day': Rafael Nadal